In my 90-plus years of life, I’ve learned a lot about love.

There is the pure and enduring love that embraces all people, all creation. This is the love that God gives; the love we are created to return to Him, the love we are created to share with one another. It is the love that brings joy and peace and contentment to the soul. It is the love that cries out for truth, that seeks what is best for all. It is the love that overflows with compassion.

In our lifetimes we come to know self-love, family love, friendship love, romantic love, husband-wife love, love for the children born of that love. Hopefully, we come to know God’s love, come to know neighborly love.

We Need to Love Ourselves

Yes we need to love ourselves; we need to love others, too. The child that is born into a loving family is blessed indeed. Nonetheless, the baby comes into this world wanting what baby wants, and when baby wants it. The baby that grows into a loving being is a blessed baby indeed!

As a child, it seemed, love was all about me. As a child, I wanted to be the center of my parents’ world. I was 4 when my brother was born, and immediately, I wanted Mother and Daddy to love me “best.”

As a child, I didn’t understand that love isn’t something that comes in measures — more for one, less for another. It seemed to me my brother got more of Mother’s attention than I did. So when my baby brother began talking and began stuttering, I made fun of him instead of being the big sister, instead of hugging him, encouraging him. So, perhaps my mother thought he needed more of her attention than I did. She thought rightly, but I didn’t know it at the time. And by the time my brother entered school, he stuttered no more. I had failed to understand that Mother loved us both, yet recognized we had different needs at different times.

I didn’t understand that love is a multiplier like our ever-expanding universe, and there’s more than enough for each and everyone.

I didn’t understand this even when I had children of my own. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing as I listened to their score-keeping squabbles about which of them was favored or got the most. As a frustrated young parent, who didn’t seem to have enough hours in the day, it didn’t even occur to me to teach them the truth about love: True love, real love, just grows and grows and grows. There’s always enough for each one to be loved without measure.

Now I’m not saying that every parent, or every person, is capable of loving this way. Unfortunately, many people don’t know love at all. Unfortunately, some parents do have favorites. Sadly, they harm their favorite as well as their less-favored children.

All children deserve from their parents the unconditional love, the love without measure that makes each child feel treasured. Children need to know that they can pass the love given to them to others. That’s the way love keeps growing. Letting love grow leaves no room for hate. Loving makes life worth living!

Children are robbed of living a worthwhile life when they are taught the world is divided by winners and losers, and for them to win in life they must compete and defeat.

It is far better for them to be taught to live life in a way that respects others as they wish to be respected. Parents should be particularly wary about pushing their children into competitive sports. If the aim is to have fun, build strong bodies, learn game skills and good sportsmanship, our children benefit. If the aim is to win at any cost and belittle opponents, our children are short-changed. It’s helpful to remind our children and ourselves that eventually, winners are displaced by new winners. Victories over others most often are temporary achievements.

Each of us wants and deserves to feel valued and loved. That’s the stuff The Golden Rule is made of.

Our children can grow up believing the very best applies to all, and no one should feel he or she is less valued than others. This enables our children to love and be loved.

So let us love and let love grow.

Let us love others as we love ourselves; And let us love ourselves well!

Hate is also an emotion we live with. And there are some people and somethings deserving of hate. So we may love the person, and hate their actions.

I’ve never seen a man or woman who hates who is a happy man or woman. Often the woman or man who hates most often needs love the most.