Once upon a time honorable men and women were held in high esteem. Honorable men and women could be trusted to keep their word. Honorable men and women chose to do  right, stand against wrong.

Once upon a time, honorable meant behaving with kindness, gentleness, respect toward others. Truth telling earned trust. Those who lied were not trusted to be leaders among us.

Once upon a time, those who spewed profanity were not welcome around our children, nor in our family gatherings, nor in our social meetings.

Now it seems those who tell the biggest lies sit in the seats of honor; their faces fill our TV screens.Those whose sentences are spiced with curses and vulgarity get “thumbs up” approval. Our children quickly learn from what they see, what they hear. 

Today, cursing is rampant; the F-word and S-word being the most popular. Profanity is heard in our homes, in our schools, on our playgrounds, in our workplaces, in our streets. Curses and vulgarities appear abundantly in the books we read, the TV and movies we watch. Profanity in the name of both God and Son is spewed without thought. I wonder if those who angrily say G.. d… realize they are daring to commandeer the power of God. For only God has the power of damnation. And God has made clear that He does not want His Name to be used in vain. In Matthew 12 it is written that we will be held accountable for every idle word we speak. And God’s Commandments say “Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain; for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that takes His name in vain.” — Exodus 20:7

As for the sexually expletive profanities, they are usually said in anger, and with the intent to insult, degrade, shame, defile. The F-word conjures up sexual union images in very unloving ways, and are more akin to rape or defilement. It is often said with an additive “bitch,” or introduced with the word “mother.” The F-word demeans the person who says it, and it demeans the natural act of sex between people who love each other. The ugly fact is the more it is said, the more it is accepted. That’s too bad. Sexual union between two loving adults who are committed to each other deserves honor and respect. 

As for the S-word, it stinks. It fouls the speaker and surrounding air.

Yes, throughout the history of mankind we have had truth-tellers and liars; speakers of profanity and speakers of kind words. In today’s world, it seems liars and dirty talkers win handily against truth-tellers and kind-word speakers, and against those who act with honorable intentions.

Lying: It’s Such a Temptation

We know that it is truth that frees us, lies that enslave us, yet it seems not a day goes by that we don’t lie. We may shade the truth, omit certain parts of the truth. In telling an experience, we may “rewrite it” to make ourselves look better, and/or make others look worse. We may “fib” to excuse our mistakes.

Most of us want to know truth, at least truth about others. Even liars don’t want to be lied to. We want our mates to be truthful (to us), our children to be truthful, our friends to be truthful, our educators to be truthful, our political leaders to be truthful, our religious leaders to be truthful, our media to be truthful.

Oh, that we first demand that “self” be truthful.

One can only wonder at those among us who seem to admire liars, braggarts, bullies, cheaters, along with those who are just plain self-serving, hateful and mean. To serve their self-interest, these mean-spirited individuals will lie, scheme, deceive, conspire, make promises they have no intention of keeping, and all the while they will present themselves as honorable, upstanding, law-abiding, truth-telling, self-made leaders. Often, they make their way up the world’s money-powered success ladder and are richly rewarded with applause and awe. They use lies — usually sweetened with grains of truth — to gain political power, economic power, organizational power, religious power.

This is not to suggest that all politicians, all business owners, all religious leaders are lying, self-serving cons. Alas, however, there are far too many of these. And the most dangerous of them — the autocratic, power hungry self-idolizers —will do anything to fulfill their desires to control others. They collect followers, and urge their followers to be loyal and obeying. They demand “respect.” But they will never get true respect, for they are devils disguised as “angels of light.”

How is it that these meanest-of-the-mean collect extremely loyal followers?

In a word: Fear. Fear of what others may think; fear for survival; fear of exclusion. Fear is a two-edge sword. Fear can help us survive; fear can destroy us. People controlled by their fears need a protector and apparently feel safer with the meanest, most combative and most prideful leader. Such followers may even allow themselves to be used to hurt others and even believe they are in the right in doing so. The motto of such followers seems to be: “Cheer-on the bully and the bully may help me, or at least, not hurt me.” Thus, they condemn themselves to a life of self-enslavement.

We either control our fear, or we let fear control us.

New Testament writer John tells us that fear is conquered through love.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casteth out fear … .” (1 John 4:18) Jesus urged that we love our enemies — in loving them we remove their power over us.

Both the Old and New Testaments of the Bible provide clues about those who follow evil leaders. God told prophets of Israel to warn the people of disasters to come. He also said the people would not listen to the warning truth delivered by His prophets. Instead, they would follow evil leaders who told them what they wanted to hear.

Jesus — in Matthew 13 — told his disciples that he spoke in parables because the people “… seeing see not; and in hearing they hear not.” In them Jesus said is fulfilled the prophecy of Esaias (the prophet Isaiah).

“For this people’s heart is waxed gross,” he said, “and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart … ” (Matthew 13:13-16)

Jesus often likened people to sheep. His sheep followed the good shepherd who led them to green pastures, to the good life. Other sheep, however, followed the wolf disguised in sheep’s clothing.

There is another group of people who follow the power-hungry autocratic leader. This group seeks to profit from being enforcers — compensated enforcers. An autocrat must have a loyal army for protection.

The Power of Truth

Truth, along with its companion, honesty, is essential for one to have a life built on self-respect. Add to these character traits humility, compassion, gratefulness, tolerance, patience, ability to love, to forgive, to hope and endure, and one will live a life worth living.

So why lie when the truth serves us so much better?

The question each must ask self is: Do I want to be truthful; do I want to hear the truth?

While we can’t know the minds, the hearts of others, we should know our own minds and hearts. The truth is within us if we seek it.

We also need to decide if there is ever a reason to lie. And of course, there is! Most don’t consider as liars those who lie to protect the safety, the feelings of innocent others. For example, in Nazi Germany, those who lied to save Jews from death camps performed honorable deeds. They put their own lives at risk to save lives. In the Bible, the story is told of a harlot named Rehab who lied to the king of Jericho to save Joshua and others. When the walls of Jericho “came tumbling down,” Rehab and her family were spared. (Joshua 2-6)

And what kind of person would crush the feelings of a child by telling her or him that others are smarter, more beautiful, etc. than she or he? Why not simply encourage the child to strive to be the best he or she can be? Why not encourage the child to love others, and be happy for their successes? Why not assure the child that he or she is loved? Why not encourage the child to love self and others? Why not encourage the child to live by the Golden Rule: Treat others as you would have them treat you?

Truth Tellers vs Liars

So what separates truth tellers from liars? A liar is defined here as one who lies to get what he or she wants; lies deliberately without thought of moral rightness or wrongness; doesn’t care if the lie hurts others; thinks only to protect, enhance, or gratify self. Such liars often insert a word or two of truth to make their lies believable. Such a liar is a cheat, thief, and a morally reprehensible person.

We surely would serve ourselves and others better if we would find kind and helpful ways to speak truth in dealing with others and with ourselves.

Truth can hurt. It doesn’t have to be delivered with cruelty.